A Simplified Phrasebook Of Conversational Dictatortopian For Tourists
… and a half
Suffix, indicating a little extra. “And then some”. E.g. “Peace Out 5000 and a half” (abbrev. PO5.5K). “I drank about five and half cases of beer last night.” “I was shit-faced drunk. And a half.” Etc.
- fucking certain
- damn straight
Notorious individuals who lurk near rivers waiting for people to float by on rafting expeditions while strumming on banjos. Legend gives these individuals the ability to transmute humans into pigs.
A happy drunk.
bass player beer
A pitcher or larger quantity of fermented beverage.
An impressive and spectacular failure of epic proportions. “Waterworld was bombidastrous.”
A celebrity who is famous for… being a celebrity and doing retarded things. Example: Paris Hilton
Visible contusion caused by use of the penis as a rod of correction.
Preferred location for watching shows - to the side of the stage, on the side nearest the bar.
Any activity associated with douchebaggishness.
A more extreme form of douchebaggery, generally performed with other douchebags.
An angry drunk.
Fucked into speechlessness.
A severe inflammation of the throat that prevents singing.
The ultimate battle between the good and evil gods of flatulence.
Root- (Greek: Fartokálypsis; “lifting of the cheek”) is a term applied to the “disclosure” from certain privileged persons of something best hidden from the majority of humankind. Today the term is often used to refer to the end of the world, which may be a shortening of the phrase fartokalupsis eschaton which literally means “Smelly revelation at the end of the æon, or age”.
The Ancient Scrolls of El Azteca tell of a 10 minute chili recipe that brings on the Fartocalypse:
“And I saw when the man opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, a voice in the midst of the four cheeks say, A measure of steak for a penny, and three measures of beans for a penny; and see thou spare not the pepper and the beer.”
One skilled in the art of blaming his (or her) farts on someone else.
Root- (Latin: comes from the Latin for “butt speaker.” The Greeks called this asstromancy (Greek: Asstromancer).
Redolent with the fraternity nature. Excessive greekness unameliorated by pita bread or olives.
Describes someone or something that is some combination of:
Does not necessarily imply homosexuality.
Describes someone or something that is both ghay and retarded.
Straight rum chased with a Starburst.
Someone with more bongos than bars of soap.
Prefix indicating incredibility. E.g. “incrediboob” (describing a woman with large breasts), “incrediwank” (an exceptionally long session with the pornograph), etc. C.f. ridicu-, incredu-.
Prefix indicating incredulity. The “d” is pronounced more like a “j” or “dg”. E.g. “incredudrunk” (describing the usual condition of the ‘tots), “increduhot” (an extemely attractive person), etc. C.f ridicu-, incredi-.
A personal computer. E.g. “Jackbox 3000”.
A sperm donor clinic.
An intrepid adventurer exploring the universe of awesomeness.
When you use duct tape instead of bailing wire.
lite beer kit
A pitcher of bud and a pitcher of water. Mix in belly until drunk.
Medicine prescribed for the prevention and cure of excessive productivity and self-sufficiency.
no pants weekend
A fabulous vacation package requiring absolutely no travel, featuring in-room dining, video games, theatrical and musical performances, and self-massage seminars. All activities are hands-on; telephone and housekeeping services are optional.
A device for replaying previously recorded sexual activity. Generally features a screen for displaying moving or still pictures and a one-handed control mechanism. Most models are still hand-cranked.
A limitless font of pornography. C.f. the internet, M.C. Hatchet’s hard drive.
- raw and awesome
- the stuff Bo Bender rubs on his bow
Prefix, used to indicate ridiculousness or excessiveness. E.g. “ridicuboob” (describing a woman with large breasts), “ridicudrunk” (extremely inebriated), “ridicufly” (quite attractive), “ridiculosity” (degree of ridiculousness). C.f. incredi-, incredu-.
That strange and often unpleasant place where you must wear “pants” and go to “work”. Adventures in RL should be limited to collection of money and/or food.
See bass player, drummer.
The amount of time it takes one to drive down Prince Avenue whilst following a fat townie on a Vespa.
Gettin’ your snack on.
A panhellenic prostitute working on her M.R.S. degree.
A rapidly expanding portion of the United States, originating in the pacific northwest, consisting of people who say things like “half-caff nonfat latte grande” with a straight face.
A stretch mark in women’s clothing between the breasts. See http://www.stroobs.com/
A situation, person, or thing that sucks in an annoyingly roundabout way.
Anything with alcohol in it that you have to drink on a sunday. E.g. rum, wine, a can of PBR still rolling around on the floor, Scope.
Suffix to indicate wonderful amounts of the modified word. E.g. “funbagtastic”, “wanktastic”, “rocktastic”, etc.
that’s what she said
All-purpose humorous response; can be used after virtually any statement. That’s what she said.
Plastic beverage containers that fertilize the lawns of fraternities worldwide.
A woman with high self esteem and excellent fashion sense.
- A transvestite robot.
- A transsexual robot.
- a Dictatortots song that never got anywhere
An aquatic Valkyrie. E.g. in thor, ode to thee.