dick-shaped bruise

hey baby have you heard the news 
gonna leave you with a dick-shaped bruise 
you went out for a drink or two 
and you wore your loose fittin' shoes (you bitch) 
 
hey there, fella, better listen to me 
and stop your talkin' to that floozy 
you should have known you were my dude 
gonna leave you with a dick-shaped bruise 
 
hey you workin' at the DMV 
you just earned a dick-shaped bruise from me 
you take my picture now or you'll see 
been in the fuckin' line since three (and now you're 
        closed) 
 
dick shaped bruise 
dick shaped bruise 
dick shaped bruise 
you can't choose (where) 
 
hey asshole - no, the one after bill 
dick-shaped bruise up on capital hill 
i'm not convinced by your oxford shirt 
you earned it now lift up your skirt 
 
hey there, salesman with the number unknown 
you earned a dick-shaped bruise all your own 
you called my house when i was sleepin' 
listen hard and you can hear it creepin' 
 
won't turn your shit down at the light 
gonna get your dick-shaped bruise tonite 
just because you're really thumpin' that shit 
doesn't mean i want to listen to it 
 
dick shaped bruise 
dick shaped bruise 
dick shaped bruise 
you can't choose (where) 
 
hey mother fucker, ain't no money for you 
don't ax a question fro a freshy of booze 
you wanna see your kids but the story's not true 
i'll just buy you a dick-shaped bruise 

hey there, trevor don't be frontin' on me 
you say the food court is your territory 
your baggy pants don't make you a G 
dick-shaped bruise from the C-P-T 
 
hey there fucker who doesn't tip 
you and my dick are going on a secret trip 
pack your bags and you better pack heavy 
dick-shaped bruise in the back of my chevy 
 
dick shaped bruise 
dick shaped bruise 
dick shaped bruise 
you can't choose (where)