you’d look better

buy me this and buy me that is all I ever hear from you 
what the hell do you need with 30 million pairs of shoes? 
and yes I do think that that shirt and coat and pants make you look fat 
but ask me one more time and I'm gonna beat you with a 
        whiffle bat 
I asked you if you wanted to get supper about 1,000 times 
you just said no, but now you feel the need to eat all of mine 
Sex and The City and that Cosmo rag have fucked you up so bad 
you're stupid chick-like tendencies are driving me mad 
you'd look better with a dick in your mouth 
you'd sound better if you spent more time "down south" 
now every brother in the world, they know just what I'm talking about 
you'd look better with a dick in your mouth 
why do I always hear about your ex and how he was so good to you? 
I wonder if the chicks he cheated on you with all say that too 
and what about your friends who tell you all the time that I'm a slob 
I'd like to introduce them to my friends, their names are Neil and Bob 
hell yes I do think that that chick i stared at is hotter than you 
I fantasize about her and her hottie girlfriends too 
I used to give a fuck, I used to work so hard to try and please 
I'd try again if you'd spend less time bitching, more time 
        on your knees